30 Days of Being a Love Machine: Day 20
Day 20 Challenge:
Forgive someone you loved and give your heart freedom from that issue.
Some wounds are deep, making it feel like those people are unforgivable. What they did may have changed us forever in a way that we curse the day they came into our lives. Do they deserve for us to despise them? Maybe. But, do we deserve to hold on to that?
The only problem with continuing to reject forgiving others is that we’re hurting ourselves way more than we’re hurting them. It’s possible that those people are so vile that they moved on and couldn’t care less how we feel about them. So, how do we start healing our wounds? We forgive. “Holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” Whether it be a quote from Anne Lamott, Malachy McCourt, or the 12 Step Program Guide, all have typed it - all have meant it. We don’t deserve that after the pain we’ve already been through.
This challenge a milestone that you've been preparing for since day one of your 30 Days of Being a Love Machine. I understand that this is a very difficult challenge to undertake. Up until just over a year ago, I realized how many grudges I carried and how much I harbored in negative feelings towards others.
I realized that all my anger had made me like a stick of dynamite. Any little thing could set me off. I had terrible road rage and very little tolerance for people and carried a “better not f*** with me” attitude like my cell phone; it felt necessary to have, i relied on it, and I panicked without it. I thought I was being tough when really I just allowed my heart to become calloused (I wouldn’t say I was Grinch status, but it didn’t feel far off). I was always on edge and looking for a reason... I’m so thankful for my journey that lead me to understand the necessity of forgiveness in my life.
This may take more than one attempt. This may take some searching deep within, but I guarantee, when you do let go, you will have a sense of relief like never before. That person then loses their power over you. They cannot control your happiness any longer.
But, how? How do you even attempt this? If you can’t rely on your religion or spirituality to help you, there are other steps you can take. Alex Lickerman, M.D. posted some great advice on forgiveness in Psychology Today. He even subtitled his article, “The Freedom Forgiveness Brings.” And, it truly does just that. They don't have to know. It's not for them; it's for you! Master Stephen Co of Pranic Healing suggests: on the inside, forgive wholly and unconditionally to set yourself free. On the outside, forgive mostly to maintain boundaries and order in your life.
Go where you got to go and do what you got to do in order to make this happen. Don't get even. Just get free. You’ll find that once this is done, being a Love Machine will happy more effortlessly. Your heart will thank you for it.
How do you know it's done? When you the person pops up in your mind are you just a little pensive? Your body doesn't get heated anymore. Your heart doesn't ache. Your emotions aren't triggered. You're just at peace with it. You're basically indifferent. This moment of them in your head is just fleeting. That moment doesn't weigh down your steps. Then, you know.
You can do it I believe in you. I only wish the best for your heart.