Cutting the Cord

If you haven't already, start with Step 1 of this Forgiveness Process: How to Forgive and Why. Welcome to Forgiving Self.

Alright, Y'all. Grab a seat. This is gonna be good.

You’ve accomplished forgiven others. So, why does shit keep happening to you? Well, if you resonate with this question, that’s your victim voice. WHAT? Yes, it’s very common. TRUST ME. Let's dissect this for a, but who's counting?

This develops because we tend to cling onto limiting beliefs and ideas, becoming attached to it, kind of like a umbilical cord, or...a filthy, unnecessary Linus blanket, if you will. So, though you're doing the work, the pattern may lie LAYERS deep. Wait a min! But, our past that's helped us develop how we react to the world "makes us who we are." Well, I call B.S. on that damaging statement that keeps spouting the same crappy story that you "wish" you could stop telling.

If you like being the victim, you can keep it and continue to speak about other people like they’re still the problem. Or, you can decide that is no longer the life you want to live and do something about it internally. I mean, you really did the work and want things to change. And, your outlook is changing.

OK, take a look at you, what you do and how you do it. Now, whatever doesn’t feel good, decide to let it go. Take some time to reflect on who you are and who you want to be. Are they the same person? If they are, then good, you’re on the right track. Start looking at the little details that still feel off. Partially here and there? Well, you’re on the cusp if you allow yourself to let go and make adjustments for your best path.

When looking in the mirror, is it hard for you to look yourself in the eye and genuinely say that you love yourself? There’s a lot of work that needs to be done there if your answer is “yes.” No matter what side of the spectrum you’re on, there can always be room for expansion to your true self. Your truest self knows you make mistakes and they’re all for the betterment of your path should you decide not to hold on to the mistakes.

No matter what side of the spectrum you’re on, there can always be room for expansion to your true self.

Forgiving yourself can be one of the most difficult for each of us to do. It doesn’t mean that you don’t hold yourself accountable or responsible. It means that you’re letting go of SHAME and GUILT. These two feelings can drastically hold you back from honest love, happiness, and joy. It can lend to punishment or sabotage from moving forward to a beautiful existence, from all of the wonderful things you deserve.

Does your internal commentary support that you aren’t deserving of wonderful things or that they’re just not accessible to you? This ain’t right. Stop punishing yourself. You need to forgive yourself. If there’s someone you really hurt, you can call them and ask for forgiveness. It’s difficult, but not impossible. And, them not being able to forgive you doesn’t mean that you can’t forgive yourself.

If those you hurt are no longer accessible, you can still forgive yourself and set yourself free. Take the time. Make it a ceremony. Bury something resembling what holds you prisoner to your grief. Write a letter of all you’ve done, then burn whatever no longer serves you in your advancement in this life. This is a deep and important task in your life; give it the respect it deserves and clear it out.

This process is deep. It’s one of the hardest ones. That can be because of denial – we don’t want to admit what harm we may have caused ourselves and others. And, sometimes it’s because we feel it so deeply, so we don’t think we’re deserving of a happy life because of what we let ourselves be a part of (aggressor to others or ourselves or even victim to others or ourselves). But, you know this doesn’t feel right. Punishing yourself doesn’t feel right. Your true self wants to be free. So, FREE it.

Forgive yourself and set yourself free. Let the tears flow, let the anger fly, you can hit something (soft, DO NOT PUNISH YOURSELF), and let it pass by. Do not hold onto any of it. Let it out FOREVER. Decide that it is gone forever. HOW? Remember, we make moves here.

You can:

  • Write it out if that helps.

  1. You can simply journal it, free flow writing of forgiving yourself for anything and everything.

  • The same process as "You Ain't Gotta Be a Saint" is available to you: circle thoughts, behaviors, and things you’ve done, then cross each one out.

  • Then, you will bury or burn the paper being thankful it’s over.


  • Just start to meditate.

  1. close your eyes and prep yourself for forgiveness.

  2. Whatever comes up, state that you forgive yourself.

  3. Let it go.

  4. Continue the process until nothing else comes up.

  5. Come back to yourself and breathe deep.

  6. Slow your breath, filling your whole body (in through your nose and out through your mouth) exhaling all negative energy until you come back to your natural state of being.

  7. Again, always close with a Compelling Command.

Stuff may continue to come up. Each time, give it less attention, just acknowledge it. Breathe in a brilliant white light to wherever you’re feeling that. Wrap that feel up in that light and breathe it out. Say it’s gone forever and close with a Compelling Command. Be gentle with yourself in this process.

If you see new damaging cycles starting, get on that CREW Process, phases 1-4.

Mass amounts of love on this journey; you can do it. And, as always, Lots o' Love to your Shining Light.

Step 1: How to Forgive and Why

Step 2: Forgiving Others

Step 3: Forgiving Authority/Hierarchy

Step 4: Forgiving Self

Step 5: Forgiving Situations

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Licensed Hypnotherapist & Communications Specialist
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